Kindle Fire HD Giveaway

Here it is....our first big adoption give away! Our goal is to reach $2,000 and we are so grateful for your prayers, donations and involvement! To enter simply click on the paypal link on the right (underneath the thermometer). Donate, then comment on here how much donated. Be sure to include whether or not you shared on your paypal button so that I can give you your extra entry! If you share on facebook, please direct people to comment on the origional post so that I can keep track of the entries. If you post on your blog (which counts too!) please instruct people to leave comments on my blog! Thanks so much for helping bring her home!

Sovereignty

It has taken me a couple of days to gather my thoughts, cause honestly I am just in awe. The Lord has left me speechless, which is not a bad thing for me ;-).

Jesus has done a lot of beautiful things in my life. He has extended to me a great deal of grace. He has loved me tenderly, and he has been firm with me as a parent to their temper tantrum throwing child. About four years ago, he grabbed ahold of me, and rescued me from a sadly luke warm life. Since then he has been teaching me two lessons over and over. I guess I wasnt getting it!

The first was redemption. He showed me what his redeeming love looks like in me. What it looks like in others. He taught me how to tune out lies, and listen to his truth spoken over my heart. This is a lesson on who I am. Defined only by God's grace. Anything that might be called "righteous" in my life is only through his power, and only an expression of thanks to him. My defining characteristic though is that I am HIS. My successes and failures only matter in the light of his mercy.

But he has also been teaching me a lesson on who He is as well. HE IS SOVERIGN. Absolute power, and in complete control. He knows every intimate detail of every situation, past, present and future, and he knows the results. He understands the pain, the loss, the effects of sin, as well as the victory, the love, and the grand story of the cross and resurrection. 

Sovereignty means I trust him wholly. It means I trust his bigger vision when something terrible happens that I am powerless to change. It means I trust his ability to change it cause he is able. And it means I trust his decisions even when he doesnt intervene.

It means I am learning to take the scripture that he works all things to good of those that love him very seriously, because I see how he has used some of the yuckiest circumstances in my life to do some of the best work in me.

I am now standing looking back having seen both sides of his soverignty and can I just say he has to be praised!

I have some areas in my life that He has not "fixed". They are broken. And they hurt, and my heart is broken, but he has granted me a surreal peace in resting in his presence. Waiting and praying. Through this he has radically changed my relationship with him. I would not take back one single moment I have shared with him through this for all treasures of the world. I am at long last, grateful for the yucky stuff, because of what he has worked out to my good.

And yet, I thought I was going to enter another season of just trusting him through the unresolved yucky, and I was in pain.

First we lost dear Megan to a situation reaking of political filth. Then God showed us Andrea, and he attached her to my heart in a way that I was not expecting. I've never met her, yet it feels very simliar to the anticipation of meeting my sweet children when I was pregnant with them. No one could reverse that love, even as we had to wait to meet them and love them. But our homestudy hit road blocks that I feared would stop the adoption. On top of that, we learned that Andrea may be transferred to an institution very soon, and there was nothing we could do to stop it. The orphanage she is in is nice. It is no home with a Mommy and Daddy, but it is better than some of the horrifying conditions I have heard and read about. But the mental assilym? Often children dont live long after the transfer to such places because of the horrid care. What would happen if we couldnt go and get her? And what would the affects be, even if we could but she had to live THERE while waiting for us.

Let me be clear......God DOES NOT NEED ME to rescue this child. He can absolutely rescue her any way he chooses and he loves her far more than we ever will be able too, even after we've spent a lifetime loving her as her mommy and daddy. But I was broken, cause he had asked US to be his vessels. Why stop now? Why all the confirmation, the beautiful changes in hearts, and great provisions if it was all to stop here anyway?

And the icing on the cake? Our Pastor this sunday preached a sermon preparing me for this very thing. Trusting him even when nothing makes sense. Trusting him through yucky. I fell apart. Really? I get it Lord, I promise I really do, but this isnt about me, its about Andrea. So there it was, the alter, three feet in front of me, waiting for an epic cry complete with snot. (I'm not a pretty crier......lovely infront of the church :-)). I begged God on her behalf. I cried. And prayed for his intervention. I also told him, I would trust his soverignty, whatever the outcome. And two dear friends prayed with me. Ironically, one whose had two succesful adoptions, and one who had an adoption fall through of a precious boy I know she loved fiercly. What perfect warriors to pray with me. And can I just say, prayer mattters, its powerful.

And you know what? He heard my prayer and ANSWERED!!!! I could absolutely explode. Our homestudy is just fine and back on track with confirmation from our in country representative. She encouraged me above and beyond, and said charge forward. On top of that she met with the Central Authority in Andrea's country and made a request. That she remain in the orphange until we can come and get her. And you know what they did? They honored that request! They are keeping her safely sound in the orphanage for an extra year, just to give us enough time! And God answered every prayer I spoke at that alter within three days. I can think of no better way to end this post than praising his works with scripture. I hope this will bring encouragement to you today, whatever you may be facing.

Psalms 105:1-5

Give thanks to Lord, call on his name;

make known among the nations what he has done.

Sing to him, sing praise to him;

tell of all his wonderful acts.

Glory in his holy name;

let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice.

Look to the Lord and his strength;

seek his face always.

Remember the wonders he has done, his miracles,

and the judgements he pronounced.

Happy World Down Syndrome day. Celebrating the life of our blessing, Andrea, today!!

Why?

Probably the question I have been asked most through this adoption is "why Special needs?"

I had a kind, but sad moment today and it broke my heart. Her intentions were abosultely pure, and I am grateful for her sincere thanks to me. But she was missing it. Her eyes saw just far enough to disability, but did not see the person I see.

Today we went out to see a cute play with the kids I work with, followed by lunch at a hamburger joint. The kids all sat quietly and respectfully through the play. They giggled at all the right spots, and couldnt stop talking about it afterwards. We had a nice lunch together and all took a deep breath of rest, not having to focus on math worksheets, spelling lessons, and sensory routines. We watched H's (I'll leave their names out) eyes light up and a grin spread from ear to ear as she was handed a chocolate shake she had patiently waited for. She may be non-verbal, but her delight was extremely evident. We chatted  with A &A about the funny moments of the play and how they couldnt wait to go home and tell their parents and grandparents. And little miss G stubbornly refused to eat because she was sad she had to leave her friends behind. ha! sounds like a typical kid to me. C, who happens to be blind, held the doors for all of us like a true gentleman. If I'm not mistaken he did it without being asked.

As we were leaving an older lady looked at me and what must have seemed like quite a crew and with sadness in her eyes said "God bless you ladies for what you do."

I wanted to say "no they are a blessing to me", but I felt awkward and simply thanked her. I didnt want to make her feel bad for what was clearly meant to be a compliment. But my thoughts are true. I am not saying there are never any  tough days. There certainly are. But the beauty of my job is I get to work with both the Special Needs kids and the regular classroom and tough days are tough days, no matter where they take place. Teaching 5th grade Math is not suddenly the easy road. 

What makes me feel this way is these children are human beings first. Made in the image of God. And quite often their desires, delights, and personalities  shine far more brightly and give us a glimpse into the soul. A dear pastor friend said to me once "nothing gives you a better glimpse into the character of God than a child with special needs". I whole heartedly agree wtih him. When I hear C 'galloping' down the hallway doing his "glee engine" as a previous teacher used to call his laugh, I am refreshed by the unbridled joy that fills every crack and crevice of that school. How many kids or adults can laugh that way without thoughts of  life's pressures, or  fear of what others will think?

I love my job for the endless suprises it brings. How, without fail, each kid exceeds my expectations over and over again. I cherish the memory of C (who is "non verbal" and many are shocked to find he can read) reading a book outloud to his 4th grade class at the end of the year. I love watching G, from a new school, painfully shy and with autism....all things that should make finding friends a real challenge, giggle and laugh with three very close friends who she boldly invited over to play at her home recently. When a child who shouldnt be able to read dives into a Dr. Seuss book. When a boy who doesnt speak asks his mom for a cheese burger at the drive through......pausing to say hamburger with cheese in case she wasnt sure what he wanted. When a child in a wheel chair gets to play basketball in front of cheering fans. When a succesful speaker at our school tells us he graduated high school at a 2nd grade reading level and still went on to complete college. When a young man, my dear sweet brother, is proud of his two part time jobs that should have been too much of a challenge.

And the days when they don't meet my expectations. When sounding out a word we've gone over 100 times is painful at every step. When the child who can read, and speak when he shouldn't, cant finish a sentence on paper. When you wish you knew what that puzzle piece was so you could make the connection. I cherish those days too. They force me to pause, slow down, and focus on what matters here and now, instead of the fast paced, goal oriented society  we live in. They force you to stop and smell the roses.

So why are we adopting a child with special needs? I tried to express my reasons to someone recently, and all she could say was "but they need help. Thats who they are, they need so much help."
Again, I was sad........are we all missing it? Maybe after a lifetime of surrounding myself with this, my view is jaded. But I suspect there are others out there who agree with me. Who wouldn't want to surround yourself with someone who reaks of unbridled joy, or someone who has a work ethic that most succesful CEO's dont have, or always exceeds your expectations, or forces you to slow down and enjoy life and stop worrying about what people think. Or even someone who asks for help. We all need a little help. I hope we all can be brave enough to ask for a little help.

Pictures

 

While waiting for our sweetie to come home I thought I would share some adorable pictures of her that I have recieved. They make me all the more anxious to kiss her little fingers, brush her pretty hair, and just plain snuggle her up!

 

 

My favorite picture of Sweet Andrea

 

 

With her bestie!

Love her!! Cannot wait to hold her

 

                                     and last but not least, Little Miss was apparently a celebrity
                                    when she was almost three on the cover of a book about children
                                      with Down Syndrome. Seriously how precious is she?




          

Closed door, Open Window

We have been waiting on pins and needles for quite some time trying to find out what will happen with our sweet Megan in Russia. We went from talking to agencies, talking to our government, talking to families who were there right now, fighting to bring their babies home with all their might. And we've prayed and prayed! What I have been learning in prayer and in bible study this month is God is absolutely ABLE and He is power. Not that He has power, he simply IS power. He is however, also sovereign  Which means he sees the grander picture far more clearly, and he is good. Which means I may not always get the results I want, but he gives the answers we need.

 So now we know, the door for Megan is fully closed. She absolutely deserves a Mommy and Daddy, and we are broken for her loss as she will not likely be adopted within country. However God has granted us some peace regarding her  situation in Russia. We were blessed to have discovered through our adoption agency that she is in a nice boarding school (not an institution), receiving good services and good care surrounded by kids her age. We even found out she is an orphanage favorite so God is providing her with love. We are committed to continuing to pray that God will find her the forever family that she deserves through a compassionate Russian family. She will always be on our hearts. And we trust God and his heart for the orphan. He knows the number of hairs on her head and loves her way more than we ever could. We trust that he is providing her that love.

We have however, been informed by Reece's Rainbow that it is time to let her go. We are still committed to adoption and the plight of the orphan and have once again asked the Lord to direct us to his plan for our family. Would we have ever found her if Megan had not opened the door for us? God's ways are perfect and we are overwhelmingly excited as he planted the sweetest, most beautiful little girl right in our laps and has provided financially for her tremendously! We are overwhelmed by the affirmation and confirmation he has give us in what seemed like such a dead end! May I introduce..............

.

Andrea

We have lots to share about her, including her beautiful Traditional name, but for now we will leave you with this! God bless you for praying with us and walking with us. This journey has barely begun. As always, we can't wait to see what God does!